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sometimes encounters we touch like swords || version 6.0 || control
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4th-Aug-2011 04:19 pm(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
ah, and then my anxiety settles to a dull roar. now i can collect my thoughts.

16th-Jan-2011 08:38 pm(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
you can't change the past.
things can always be worse.
you just have to keep moving.

these three truths help me live.
17th-Jul-2010 11:28 pm(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
what do you do when you are always the eye of the storm?
1st-Nov-2009 09:23 am(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
Regardless of what anyone else feels, I'm going to be happy, so screw you guys! I'm here to make music and get better at it, so that's that.

On a significantly more depressing note: Day with the family. UGH. But if I get to see the ferret today, it'll make everything okay. I miss her a lot.

...why am I awake.
4th-Jun-2009 01:27 am(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
it's hard for me to put myself out there, but i really need you to pay attention to me! i've been trying so hard to just talk to you, but obstacles keep popping up in the way. i know you're a busy man, and that's why it's so difficult for me, because i don't want to feel like i'm making things harder on you.

please, just call me! i can't stand this. i'm not going to be at peace unless i see you before i leave. there's so much on my mind right now, but all of the people i can talk to about this are just so busy or maybe even ignoring me.

speaking of ignoring, you ma'am, if you are really ignoring me... i will be very sad. i shared a lot with you and i don't know why you won't pick up the phone or respond to my e-mails.

i just need to talk about this to you. i really do.

(i'm really never going home.)
28th-Apr-2009 03:35 pm(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
why is it that i have no trouble getting a hold of people when i'm fine, but when i really need to talk to them, they have things to do?

i understand that i can't expect everyone to be there for me every second of the day. they have lives, careers, families. but i don't think they understand how alone and displaced i feel right now.

i would do anything to be the normal girl who can actually come home when the school year ends, but i've been here a day and i am so sad.

(and i can tell myself that i want to live in the apartment with my friends, but that isn't going to stop the loneliness...)

i wish i had the guts to just call and say, "I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT." but i'm too afraid to, and it's eating me up inside.

someone i trust once told me that everything in life happens for a reason. but that doesn't make the heartache go away.
24th-Mar-2009 08:24 am(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
I never have time to post anymore. ;-; So busy.

I wish I had something interesting to say about life, but to be completely honest, all I do is play the flute, do homework, and sleep. And that's about it. Today, I have an oral surgeon consultation back home to get my wisdom teeth out at noon, and I have class that ends at 10:50 so I'm gonna have to run all the way out to my car, and hopefully the roads won't be too trafficky.

13th-Feb-2009 06:37 pm(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
i am crazy busy all the time.

oh music majorism. why do you do this too me?

...but i'm getting pretty good at this flute thing. it's quite lovely.

how are you, rest of the world?
27th-Dec-2008 12:25 am(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
You know, I looked back and I realized I really did try, and it wasn't my fault that things ended up the way they did. Some things were, but you... I did everything I could.

But I wouldn't be who I am today without you. For that, I thank you.
26th-Dec-2008 09:59 pm(no subject)
FFVII, prayer, aeris
Hi, my name is Michigan, and I'm weather-retarded. Not only have I had several large snowstorms every few days, but bouts of freezing rain, followed by warm weather, followed by rain, followed by ice cold temperatures that froze all of the water, followed by MORE FREEZING RAIN. Now, I'm going to have a giant thunderstorm tomorrow, with a high 60 and a low of 45. Even though wind chills in the past week or two have been damn near negative 20 degrees.

The Mitten-shaped State of Hell.

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